الخميس، 28 نوفمبر 2013

Arguing with children



Arguing with children



He forgot to unload the gun and almost shot his father. His father didn't say a thing and continued doing his thing.  I learned that children know the difference between right and wrong. That they do not need to be punished for wrongs they didn't intend to commit. And that wrong itself contains its own punishment.   

She doesn't want to eat her cereal. Ask her what does she want to eat? If she wants tamale, give her. If she wants candy tell her u don't have (be sure that is true) and give her another choice.

She doesn't want to go to bed. Read him a story until he is sleepy.

I watched my wife. Her view of her two boys was different from my approach to child rearing. She saw her children as individuals who were fully entitled to her respect-even as infants. She listened to them. She trusted them. She gave them freedom. She never nagged them-never once did I hear her tell them to pick up their room or do their homework or mow the lawn. As a matter of fact, she wouldn’t let them mow the lawn, which resulted in their demanding the right to do so. As the important issues of their lives arose, she made room for them to make their own decisions. I found the dynamic fascinating. The more she trusted her children, the more trustworthy they became.
The key to the parent-child relationship is respect. It is not enough merely to love a child. We commit the most heinous wrongs in the name of love. Most child abuse is perpetrated under the guise of love: “I punished you in this fiendish fashion only because I love you.” “This hurts me worse than it does you.” I saw my wife treating her children as friends. 



How to Argue and Win Every Time: At Home, at Work, in Court, Everywhere 

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